This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
