It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
