I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
