Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Jerry, you need to find god
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
