I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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