Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
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Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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