My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
