Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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