whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
