My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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