I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
