WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
