Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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