I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize