so that wasnt chicken after all
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
