CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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