So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
