sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
