wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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