How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
