Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
