she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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