Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
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It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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