Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
