The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
