Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
