i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
