That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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