I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize