Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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