Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize