I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
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