So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Slut skills are useful in every country.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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