im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
