A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
