"it" just moved
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
