I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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