Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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