she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
