she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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