he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So here I am, sexting at work.
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