Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
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Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
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It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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