Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
