Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
