So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
honey bunches of taint.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
