Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
