i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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