Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
