so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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