Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
