you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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