I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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