I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
