Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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