do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
