I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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