I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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