marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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