So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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